Monique Polak

I have a confession to make: one day this week, I was working on my new manuscript and thinking, "Gee, this isn't very good. It's not at all the way I wanted it to come out." I ended my writing day at around four that afternoon, feeling kind of crabby with myself. The next morning, I returned to my desk and plunged back into the story. And guess what? By the end of the day, I was thinking, "Gee, this reads well. I think I like it!" I'm telling you this so you understand that there are a lot of ups and downs in the writing life. The trick, I have discovered, is to keep writing -- no matter how discouraged you feel. And to remember that the downs are usually followed by an up -- and vice versa of course, too. 

Next week, I'm off to Book Expo in Toronto. I'll be signing copies of my latest book, 121 Express, on Monday, June 16 at noon. If you're going to be at Book Expo, drop by the Orca booth and say hello. One of the best parts of Book Expo is that I get to meet readers and booksellers and librarians, not to mention hobnob with other children's writers. Hopefully, I'll come home with lots of interesting and inspiring tips for you, dear reader -- and for me!

So my friend, author Marsha Skrypuch was back in Montreal last weekend. She was here to launch her latest book, Daughter of War (Fitzhenry & Whiteside), which I am looking forward to reading. I find that sometimes, it takes another author to understand what goes on inside my head.

Over lunch in Old Montreal on Saturday, I told Marsha my writing plans for this summer -- to finish the first draft of the novel I am working on, and to start ANOTHER ONE before I go back to school in August. "I know it sounds crazy," I told  her. Anyway, for me, the happiest moment of my visit with her happened just then. Marsha looked at me and grinned and said, "It's not crazy. You're a writer. You're obsessed!" So thanks, Marsha, for making me feel like a little obsession isn't necessarily a bad thing!! 

That's writing snarky -- as opposed to feeling snarky. Actually, I'm in my usual mental state, which is generally friendly and mostly kind. But I'm WRITING SNARKY!! That's because when Sarah Harvey, my editor at Orca, and I had our phone "meeting" this week, she suggested that Noah, the protagonist in my latest book project could be a little snarkier. Now that's funfor a person like me to do -- since I'm usually so darned un-snarky. Maybe I'm a secret snark and it only comes out in my stories!! 

So I'm going to get snarky right now. Then at 1:17 I have a live phone interview with Natasha Aimee Hall, who's interviewing me for her radio show on 940AM. It's a seven-minute interview about my last book, 121 Express, and if you know me, you probably know that talking is one of my specialties -- so the interview shouldn't be a problem. Okay then, off I go to get in touch with my inner, more-than-slightly-repressed snark!!

I just got off the phone with Sarah Harvey, my editor at Orca -- and besides discussing my latest book project, we compared notes about the writing life. I told Sarah how my favourite part is coming up with the next story idea. There's so much possibility at that stage and so much energy and excitement.

Sarah told me that though she has begun work on a new novel (I've already mentionedon this blog that Sarah is the author of a terrific YA book called Bull's Eye which I had to stay up and read all in one night), another story has been calling to her. The same thing is happening to me! It's like HAVING TOO MANY BOYFRIENDS AND THEY ALL WANT A DATE ON SATURDAY NIGHT!!  For me, I find it's best to stick with one boyfriend (in my case, husband!!), er, I mean book -- and just jot down the other ideas for later. Since a novel is a fairly long undertaking, you've got to have stick-to-it-ive-ness (which also helps with boyfriends and husbands!!) Okay then, speaking of stick-to-it-ive-ness, I've gotta get back to my story. Talk to you later this week!

I woke up one morning this week with a really sore knee. Uh oh, I thought, this could have a seriously negative impact on my life. First, if I ever had to stop running (and after a certain age, many runners do), it would curtail my cookie-eating habit. I am, if I may say so myself, a very good cookie maker and a frequent cookie consumer. Also, running helps me manage stress and it helps me WRITE.

Luckily, something in my knee made a weird cracking sound later that same day and the mysterious pain vanished. So, I'm off for a run now. But I'll be working on my writing at the same time. Today's the day I've set aside to write the first draft of my Maclean's story about teenage boys and their interest in Internet porn. So, I'm going to review my notes (I've got about 12 pages) and then I'm going to take my run. While I run, I'll let my ideas percolate in my head -- and when I get back, I'll take a shower and get to work. See why I was worried about that sore knee?  

Good morning! So, except for some odds and ends at school, I'm pretty much into full-time writing mode. Ahhhh with five h's!! The only complication is I'm feeling like I kind of have to fight to preserve chunks of writing time. If not, the days'll go by and I won't get done what I so want to do. A phone call here, a chitchat there, and next thing I know -- the morning (or afternoon) has disappeared. I was talking about my feelings about time with my husband this morning -- and he observed that it must be difficult for someone as sociable as me to limit my chitchats and phone calls and visits with friends. I know I'm lucky to have good friends and satisfying connections out there in the world, but even so, the writing is calling to me -- loudly!! And as of yesterday, Orca has tentatively accepted my next book idea. So this blog entry will count for my morning chitchat -- off I go to tinker with my story and see where it wants to take me today!!!

I've had a little technical trouble this week -- I had trouble saving yesterday's blog entry, which is why it appears today. (It's the one that has the five h's in "Ahhhhh!") I don't have much to tell you this afternoon. Actually, I feel a little boring. But -- this is a bit difficult to explain -- it's because I'm writing away. I'm getting lost in my newproject,  so the rest of my life feels pretty quiet. And GUESS WHAT? I'M HEARING VOICES! Have I mentioned that to you before? I know it's sounds kooky, but it's actually a very good thing when that happens to a writer. It means I can hear my characters talking to each other. When that happens, writing feels fun, and not so much like hard work (which is what it feels like most of the time).

Victoria Day weekend is coming up here in Canada. In fact, since it's after five now, it must already be here! I've actually been in touch today with my friends at Orca Book Publishers in VICTORIA. Guess they'll be having quite the party there this weekend. Well, I wish you a happy safe fun weekend. If you're imagining the story you might want to write, try listening for voices!  Let me know if it works!! 

That Ahhhhh! (with five h's) is because I'm done correcting. Except for a few days of meetings at school, I'm pretty much done -- which means I can make the switch to full-time writing.

Ahhhhh! In the past, I've sometimes needed a little transition time between school and writing, but I'm trying to get right back into the writing so I can make the most of my long freedays. One of the things I'm finding is that I need to say NO more. I'm glad to have several good friends, but I'm having to tell them that I want to spend most of my days this summer writing -- not having lunch or going for tea. I read not long ago that people like me, who have trouble saying no, should think instead about what they're saying "yes" to. I'm saying yes to getting lost in my imagination, to getting back to work on a story I've been fiddling with for several months, and then, perhaps, to starting something entirely new before it's time to go back to school. So that's my latest resolution -- to say no when I have to -- and to not feel guilty about it.

Are you one of those people who has a similar problem with saying no?

I'm still marking away like a fiend, but I'll take a short break to write this blog entry. One of my students, Anastasia S., dropped by during office hours today and we discussed how much her writing has improved over the semester. "The thing I really learned," she told me, "is that I have to keep writing and re-writing. And sometimes I need to take a break and then go backto it." Hearing that made me feel like my work in the classroom is not in vain!!

On another note, I'm beginning to research a magazine story about how many young guys are hooked on Internet pornography. I just got off the phone with a Toronto sex therapist who had many interesting things to say on the subject. He believes that parents have a role to play -- that they need to discuss issues like sexuality and relationships with their kids. Hmm... do I smell another book in this?

Today is the last day of classes at Marianopolis College. Boy, did this semester ever fly by! I've got a mountain of correcting, but I hope to be through it by the end of next week. Then I'm going to turn back into a full-time writer. Ahhhhh! (That's the sound of happy anticipation.) Okay then, gotta run to make it to school on time. Likely won't write another blog entry till next week. For those of you who are finishing term papers and writing exams, good luck -- and courage!!